THE MOTHER I NEVER GOT TO BE

My mama and me (with a bad camera angle making my head look 10 times bigger than hers)

To the child I never had,
There are moments that I am heartbroken that I never got to meet you. I sometimes think about what a phenomenal mother I would have been mostly because I had such a magnificent mother’s footsteps to follow.

My mother taught me to see the world with curiosity leading me to a life devoted to learning everything I possibly can.

My mother taught me how to accept everyone and everything with love welcoming all in my life with open arms.

My mother taught me courage leading me to travel the world solo and forge my own path with so much that I do.

I can only imagine how curious, accepting, and courageous you would have been and where that would have led you.

I’ll never get to welcome you to this world, see who you look like, look into your innocent eyes, melt with your first giggle, wipe away your tears, teach you about the sun and the moon, stand back and let you fail, help fuel your passions, watch you with your grandparents, uncles / aunts, or cousins, and more.

I’ll never get to give you the blanket my mom cross stitched for you so many years ago or the doilies my grandmother crocheted. Someday I’ll be able to let go of the beanie babies my mom collected that I wanted to pass on to you. But not yet.

I am not ready to let go of that part of me yet. The part of me that wanted to be a mother. Whether it was my fears that blocked me or just was simply never my path, I want to honor that part of me just as much as I want to honor the life I am living. Both can be true.

I am beyond blessed I have a niece and nephew to adore and am fortunate to be an honorary auntie to so many. I joke that I got a role that is even better than a grandparent since I didn’t have to go through the grit of parenting for all the fun stuff. While I do believe that, I also know it is in the grit with children where you help them find their pearls and your shines even more.

For those of you who are mothers, please remember what a gift it is, especially on the grittiest of days. You get to love someone so much that your heart cracks. It is in those cracks, that love flows in and out. I also see how hard it can be so give yourself some acknowledgment too!

For those who have never got to be mothers (whether by choice or circumstance) or are still on that path, I see you. I am here if I can listen and shower you with love in any way.

And to my mother, thank you, thank you, thank you. You overcame so much yet still found a way to love me unconditionally and set me up to live the most shucktacular life. You made being a mother look like the most important thing there could ever be in this world. There is not enough gratitude in the world to give to you.

Happy Mother’s Day to all!!!

Shuck with love,
Jessica

P.S. I am soooooo excited to share that I am starting a year-long, deep dive coaching group in August. If you are feeling stuck, crave meaningful conversations, curious about living life from love, or want to add to your tribe, let me know and we will set up some time to talk through the details.